New Years Eve is dawning...

And the Krazy House is ditching it's 2am serving time for the later and amazing 4am! BUT... they're also ditching the 2 for 1 offer on all bottles. I was mortified by this but the bar is open later... I dunno which i'd rather have. Eitherway tho, it should be a good night. It ain't only fireworks that i'm expecting to explode, oh no sirree!

What I received for Christmas:

Radiohead album, 'Amnesiac'
The Viz Book of Slugs
Set of Boxies
Set of Socks
Lynx Deo and Shower Gel Set
Pair of Vivanco Headphones
PS2 game, 'The Getaway'
'Snatch' DVD
RARE Pink Floyd Compilation Video (There is a god...)
Level 42 Remix CD
Simpsons Beyond Book
A 4 Pack of Rolo's (I thank my senile nan for them.)
£100
A £50 Phone Card

Cool stuff our Lee got which i'll deffo take advantage of...

Lee Evans: Live at Wembley DVD
'Fight Club' DVD
'Steve-O' DVD
'Dave Gilmour LIVE' DVD
System of a Down 'Steal this Album' CD
A singing Hamster (AMAZING)

I got other stuff which I just can't for the life of me remember at this moment in time. Tho it has been a good Chrimbo I suppose. Got VERY drunk on my work's night out last night and also met an old junior friend, good ol' Katie Bracken!!! She was fantastic, shame she ain't got the net. I had my first taste of Tequila too. WOW. Now that's some good shit. I got home at 11pm fucking wasted, which felt weird. I've never returned home from the piss on the same day I went out, but it was a new, and well received experience.
Back to normality tho, and i'm in work on Friday instead of Saturday. AMAZING. Who knows, I may be out this Friday for the first time in about 3 months!!!

Time for an update.

Seems everyone else is enjoying Christmas except me. But that doesn't mean to say i'm being all hum-buggerish about it. I just ain't that interested in it this year, seems like fuck all when i've got University shit to think about, as well as a new baby coming on the way and other more personal things i've gotta deal with. And yet, it's the year i have spent the most money on gifts for my family. Which is strange, but also nice that I have become so independent. Means a lot to me that I have so much money to throw around at will without having to worry about running out. Trust me, i ain't running out anytime soon! Which is also weird considering i'm a student.

Anyway, Xmas. I hope you're all having a good one and I hope you all put aside hoping for what you want as well, and at least give a thought about reality. Christmas is all shit. No-one really knows what it means anymore, including me. I don't know why I buy presents, I just do because society says I have to. I therefore should stick to my morals and NOT buy anyone presents just cos' it's that 'time of year'. If you're worrying about not being able to buy that necklace for your girlfriend, or buy that DVD for ya boyfriend (DVD = necklace, oh yes it is does), just take a step back and consider the consequences.

As for me, i haven't asked for anything except a Radiohead album and I ain't even that fussed if I get that or not. So long as this baby pops out in March fresh and healthy, with a smile to boot, and a reputation which will make Auto proud then that will make my year. Christmas? Load of shit, bring on the baby poop instead.

SPENCER'S UPDATE

News has got round to all corners of the KH as well as Liverpool and my family that I DO work in Spencer's Gifts UK, in St John's Precinct. It's a little shop, but with ahuge fucking heart. I see that Skippybird has been perusing though Gamestation trying to get her Dreamcast fixed. Respect to the mutha' for sticking with the cast'!! Tis an amazing little machine harshly forgotten about and dropped from Seg... I'm dribbling. Anyway, if ever ya walking through the precinct and happen to smell the dildo infested Spencer's, do come in!

Our deal of the week HAS TO BE our Lava Lamps, all selling at prices raning from £10 - 20. I'm not kidding. However, they've selt like box's of Kleenex at a Playboy convention and so are VERY hard to find. If you want anything from Spencer's, gis a shout and i'll see what I can do!

That'll do for me. I WILL be updating on Christmas Day. When i don't know for sure, but I will be. Look out for me on MSN Mesenger as well at auto2112@hotmail.com. i'm always ready and raring for a laugh so do feel free to call me a twat or a saviour for all Monster Munch plant aficianado's out there. Au revoir...

A simple day made nice by the purchase of two new Playstation 2 games, the amazing Tony Hawk's Pro Skateboarding 4, and the immaculate Kingdom Hearts.

But enough about my sad geeky addiction, how are all of you out there? All fine I hope. It has been a cold week, but an interesting one none the less. I'm fucking exhausted to top it all off too. Work is cool but it don't half tire me out. And considering I do fuck all in there, it's quitea bizarre occurence. Sorry if i'm not being interesting but at the moment I have the enthusiasm of a spud, and I ain't got the attention with my Blog that I once did have, if you could call it attention that is. ANyway, spread the word, cos auto2112.blogspot.com is back and hopefully being updated on a daily basis... Ciao.

Over a month since I last updated. I apologise to the people who DO actually visit my blog still, and this update is for all of them!!!

I met Phil Thompson today! THE Phil Thompson, assistant manager for Liverpool Football CLub. He bought an electric whoopee cushion from the shop I work at, Spencers. Fucking marvellous! I felt weird though considering I play the game Championship Manager and he's MY assistant manager in that. Felt very strange talking to him, and best of all I got his autograph! Result!

University's finally over, tho I'm only gonna have a 2 week break before I embark on a journey of self discovery. For all of you who don't know, i'm undertaking a Big Bro style 3 week project, where me and 3 lads will be locked up for 23 days, with no natural daylight living on 28 hour days. It's gonna be fucking weird, but i'll walk out with £400, all the food i'd eaten paid for by the Uni, and i'll have had 23 days or 552 hours or 33'120 seconds of very important self-thought. I've got a lot of thinking to do about my life, where it's come from and where it's going. You may all think i'm talking absolute fucking testicles but that's up to you I guess. It's important that I do this, and i'm gonna be a changed person at the end of it, whether better or worse I don't know.
btw, I'll have the net inside there so i'll keep you all updated if you're really that interested on how life in a 3 roomed flat is without physical contact with the outside world. I COULD take my mobile phone with me, but I think it's important that I distance myself as much as possible for these 3 weeks as much as I can. I'll still e-mail the important peeps out there who deserve my attention, but i won't get round to you all.

See ya's on my next update...

OMG, my blogger's finally worked. I dunno how it happened but it did.

News since my last 'interesting' post.

1. Me mum's pregnant... and she's also found out the sex of the kid too, there's another little male on the way to the Houghton Clan. Result! Oh, and he's gonna be known as 'Alex (Space) (Space) (Space) Houghton. Still trying to figure out the obligatory 3 middle names for the poor fucker.

2. University's annoying as buggery.

3. I met Pete Price today!

That's about it for this update, I really need to get a presentation ready so fuck off.

Trying the new template...

Er...

I notice my blogs don't seem to be getting posted SO...

[9/17/2002 3:45:54 PM | Carl Houghton]
Anyone got tips on how to get into a steaming hot bath without having ya dangly bits get the brunt of the heat? Fucking annoying that.

It's a shame that there's people who've been part of an interaction in my life who i'm going to forever dislike. Just because of who they are primarily, and the way they are. And it's also funny that 95% of the time, these people you hate, actually like you back. I've never understood that. I know people who like me who I can't stand, and yet they are so oblivious to my hatred to them, it's quite funny actually... ah the bitter sweet irony of 60+ years. I'm a third of the way there, and the way it's flashing me by it's gonna seem like i'll be dead by next week.

[9/23/2002 3:42:54 PM | Carl Houghton]
Ya know in 'Unbreakable where Bruce Willis has these flashbacks when he touches other people, and he sees something in their life? Well I had my own today and i'm VERY worried cos it's something that has happened when i've been in a state of... er... pissed-as-a-fartness. I'm doing a bit of detective work today to see if my beliefs are true... watch this space.

No doubt this won't get posted either so I may end up having to restart my blog... which is about as likely as me not having a wank tonight.

Ya know in 'Unbreakable where Bruce Willis has these flashbacks when he touches other people, and he sees something in their life? Well I had my own today and i'm VERY worried cos it's something that has happened when i've been in a state of... er... pissed-as-a-fartness. I'm doing a bit of detective work today to see if my beliefs are true... watch this space.

Anyone got tips on how to get into a steaming hot bath without having ya dangly bits get the brunt of the heat? Fucking annoying that.

It's a shame that there's people who've been part of an interaction in my life who i'm going to forever dislike. Just because of who they are primarily, and the way they are. And it's also funny that 95% of the time, these people you hate, actually like you back. I've never understood that. I know people who like me who I can't stand, and yet they are so oblivious to my hatred to them, it's quite funny actually... ah the bitter sweet irony of 60+ years. I'm a third of the way there, and the way it's flashing me by it's gonna seem like i'll be dead by next week.

I just wanna say I had a great day in town today. Sure it was just going round talking bollox, and shocking some girl with my admission of wanking outside of a tent in the Lake District, but it was a great day all the same! I'd like to thank Sutty, Andy, Blakely, Jo, Helen, that girl Sutty didn't introduce me to correctly, and even Flynney... Flynny... Ian for the larfs we had today. I needed it after the shit week i've had. I applaud ye all, and thank you...

Looks like my blog has a mind of its own. I only had 5 posts on here the other day and now there's like, 5 or 6 months worth... BUT... at least ya get to see my counter with it's awful count on there. There really MUST only be about 4 people who read my blog. :D now there's dedication for ya.

We got our Reservoir Dogs photo's back today and i'm very disappointed. Not only do I look an ugly fuck on them, but for some reason, about 4 or 5 photo's just aren't there, INCLUDING our legendary walk down Wood Street while humming 'Little Green Bag' to ourselves... note to self: NEVER EVER BUY A DISPOSABLE CAMERA FOR AN AMAZING NIGHT OUT AGAIN.

I see the papers are going on today about remembering and giving thoughts to both sides of the Atlantic for those who have suffered on and after the 11th of September 2001 attacks. How long do they expect us to keep thinking about this? It was devestating, yes it really was, but these things happen, and if we're gonna have this every year, then i'm gonna end up writing a letter to The Mirror demanding an explanation on why 'The Hillsborough Tragedy', 'The Dunblane massacre', and the numerous train crashes that we've had don't get the same anniversary justice that 11/9 does. ANY MONEY, that next year, there'll be a big fuck-off 4 page spread dedicated to them two girls who were murdered a few weeks back. The media dictates what we see and what it wants us to believe in, and unfortunately for us, there's fuck all we can do but either decide to go along with the flow or to, like me, take a step back and look at the REAL picture. Come on over.

September 11th has come and gone, and thoughts of it still linger...

But why? I mean, on the day and the month it happened, it was fucking huge. No-one across the world can say they weren't awestruck by the images and video clips coming to them from the US, but why remember such tragedies? What's the point? I'm telling you now, i bet you there's more people crying today in the world than there was 6 months ago, and that to me ain't a clever thing to do. What's the point in re-opening harsh wounds? If I had someone who died in the WTC that day, I wouldn't want to be remembering what a tragedy it was, and all this coverage is just a catalyst for the Al Qaeda to do exactly what the papers are prophecying.

Ya've got all these papers worrying openly that something might happen today.

Al Qaeda: "Hmmm, well, we weren't gonna do it, but they seem to expect it, so what the fuck! Let's blow some other major building out of the skyline!"

If anything does happen today, I blame the media, and all that branches off it, i.e. radio, TV, newspapers, etc. Oh, and good luck to our cats, who just don't seem to be getting on at all well with our Butch lately.

Also just thought i'd give a big shout out to the 3 people who read this Blog of mine-

Pillow -Didn't know you read this till ya told me last night! Or maybe you've told me in the past now that I come to think of it...

Skippy - Great to see ya last night! Especially considering you're a firm believer of this shit Blog of mine. And thank you for the congratulations, thought you were gonna be there for the duration of the night praising my good luck! :)

Laydee K - Great to see you again too last night, shame it was for such a short time and such a low number of occasions, but it was great to see ya either way! And I was glad to meet THE Ali for the first time last night. Hope you two ladies have a good future in your new abode, I know ya deserve it.

Anyways, enough blathering about horse-chestnuts and on with the talking. I'm off to go and crack a wank off to Ann Widdecombe playing Monopoly on a roofless train headed for the Pacific Ocean... ah what a life.

(>' .')> Kirby says: " So, so you think you can tell, heaven from hell, blue skies from pain... " says:
Or cop off with polly Anna who's knickers are as soggy as a second hand Big Mac box and who has got 21 diseases from all the lads who've promised her fame and fortune before dumping her out of a black cab into the steps of Lime Street Station.

Just something I said today which i thought was a little amusing so decided to post it on here. Is that a bigheaded thing to do? No it isn't, winning the lottery and then giving a tramp a pound is.

I'd just like to recommend Subway, the sandwich bar, to all who frequent the city centre on a regular basis. I nearly splurted semen in my pants today after having a pizza sandwich from said food bar. It's only 1.89 too, can't go wrong folks, unless of course you happen to get a sandwich that's contaminated with an unhealthy case of salmonella.

I was told I looked 40 today...
I also didn't click onto an awful joke by one of my workmates...
I also drank a glass of pure lemonade... (55p for 2 litres in the Lidl, brilliant bargain.)
I also watched scallies jump all over trollies for 45 minutes...
I also watched the same 16 yr old scallies playing hide and seek...
I also found out my mum's 8 weeks into her pregnancy...
I also am very tired...

A lot happens in an average day really doesn't it? I suppose when i list it like that it's only then I actually realise just how much has happened to me today, which I won't remember in a weeks time. Curious.

My mum's pregnant... what's going on here? I don't even know what to think cos it still hasn't hit home yet. I'll be 19 when this sprog is born. NINETEEN!!! And a new member of the family will be hitting our shores. I don't mind at all having a new little Auto in the family, but how fucking weird is it at my age? Not so weird for my mum who's only 37 but darn right weird for me. Last thing I ever expected to happen. But then these things happen for a reason so the baby will probably be the devil or something, just to make my life that little bit even more interesting.

"Call it blind frustration, call it blind mans bluff..."

Too many people hold too many not too important secrets to themselves. If everyone got everything off their chest more frequently than is common in society, this world could be a better place. If ya keep something secret that's digging away at you negatively, I couldn't give a fuck, especially if you're happy to feel shit while not telling anyone about it. Adieu.

Sorry for the long break in updates. But my PC got so fucked the other day i was without it for 4 days!!!! (Traffic stops) Fucking awful it was. But anyway, Saturday was an amazing night in the KH, with me, andy, and Pete as the Reservoir Dogs. We looked cool, naturally, and we've got a load of pics which should be winging their way to me soon. So if ya wanna see some sad twats dressed like cool guys, gis a shout.

I saw a Bird last night, and it gave me a little message... UPDATE YA FUCKING BLOG! So I am. And I intend on spreading the word about my appearance in the KH next week, when me and my good mates turn up as the Reservoir Dogs. I'm Mr. Pink of course, what with my Floyd background, and we have Andy McSexualarse as Blonde. Hopefully Sutty's gonna be a blood drenched Mr. Orange, and then we have the insatiable Mr. White and... wonder if anyone fancies being a trackied Nice Guy Eddie? There's enough tracksuits in Liverpool for it to become a reality I suppose... and Skippy Girl, you're just a plain doll! Thanks for letting onto me last night, it's so cool to be seen talking to an attractive lady. it makes other people think i'm cool for a minute. Then they realise i'm just a twat. :D

A quickie for today, just never ever turn down a free opportunity. basic, but sensible.

Why does everyone elses Blog look amazing, and mine looks the epitomy (That how you spell it??) of shitness? I dunno how you guys do it, but the other Blogs i've seen, observed, viewed, are just great. Mine's just shite.

Anyways, i've had a boring week, because i don't have a job at the moment. Waiting to hear from the Lidl, who seem to think that when they say they'll get back to me by the end of the week, they're allowed to let that spill over past the end of the week and into the next week. i ain't impressed. Whatever happened to professionalism in this country? The NHS is on the shitter, the police force are more concerned with parking tickets than shootings in public places, and now it's silly store managers who don't do as they say. Hey, what can an 18 yr old scouser do in a world like today? If I was the generalising kinda sort (Which i usually am unfortunately), i'd be injecting myself full of heroine. But i don't like drugs, i've heard they're bad for you. So for now, I have to sit on my big, fat, hairy arse, and do fuck all. A lot of people would contest that's all I ever do anyway. I say that they're a good judge on personality.

I got a new job today! Yippee-Ki-Yay mother-worshipper. And there's a Maccie's nearby!!! I'm gonna wank myself to death in a minute. Now if ya don't mind, switch the light off, there's too much marshmallow in here for one dragon night thank you very little!!!

"Why don't you tell it like it really is?"

Not many of us do really. My work's always bullshitting me. Telling me one thing when it's really another, and telling me they like me when really they're all talking behind my back cos I stand up for myself and... I dunno, I just can't be arsed anymore. Where's that ray of light when you need it, and why doesn't anyone ever offer me one either?!?!?! :D

Just realised the link didn't get posted as a fucking link. So here is the bastard link instead:

Haven't updated for 5 days?!?!? What happened there? Oh yeah... ALCOHOL happened there. God the Krazy House was fun on Saturday. Met a load of new people, tried all three Aftershocks in one glass which just blew my brains out, and also didn't throw up OR receive a hangover the next day! Rejoice!

I've just started a room on MSN Chat called '! The Pink Room of Insane Havok?!?!?!?!?' and it's going slow at the mo. There's also a community for it at the mo which with 10 people is a little short of being busy. I'm gonna post the address for it here, so if you're interested in getting involved, just click the link...

http://groups.msn.com/ThePinkRoomofInsaneHav0k/_whatsnew.msnw

Anyone else see the drunken Kate from Big Brother 3 trying to get her pants on? Telling ya, two hours of that and my sides would most definitely have split.

I currently have FIVE people messaging me... and my mind is fucked trying to cope with them AND get this updated again for my 6 fans. But I HAVE to update this cos if I don't, there's a lady out there who's gonna kick me in the bollox for I don't update as much as this young lass would like me too. Women hey? Never happy unless you're talking bollox... well at least online anyway.

A strange thing happened to me today. I called my boss a foreign twat-face. And I didn't get sacked. Tho i've called her many naughty things before today. And I also told her I was going to have a wank when i got home and she was mortified. WHY??? Wanking, masturbation, tugging, choking, bashing, and for the ladies, friggin and clicking, these are all everyday activities which SO many people indulge in for many reasons:

1. Self - indulgence with ice cream is greedy, but when it's free like a ham-shank, how can you say no?
2. Orgasms are 8 times more satisfying than a sneeze. And we all know how fucking good a sneeze feels.
3. It's easily deposited down the toilet and so no evidence is left... unless you jet all over your toilet Glade hangy thing and your mum asks why it's gone all soggy.
4. You can dream you're having sex with anyone. That's cool that, especially why it's that gorgeous teacher who is alas a proper arsehole in the class. It'd be so cool to fuck that sexy temptress.
5. It's free!!! Even the straws, salt, sauce, and all the napkins in McDonald's don't make up for a greasy stiff one!

Heed my advice world, for one day masturbation shall be as common an everyday thing as taking the wrapping off cucumber that's been in the fridge, as common as peeling a banana, and as common as watching a garden hose getting punctured. Ahem.

I received such a huge kick up the arse AGAIN on Saturday from none other than THE Skippybird to actually update my Blog again... The thing I find is that I have so much stuff going on that unfortunately this Blog is often forgotten. If it's not mates who need some help or my fucking shitty job, then it's chasing ladies, getting drunk, schoolwork, talking bollox in online chatrooms and so I often neglect my little bible titled Blog. Which should not do really. A page which is not updated is a bag of shite and anyone who views it shall only wonder why the gobshite owner wont get off his fat hairy arse to do that. So this hairy arse is gonna try his best to do this from now on...

Fancy listening to a good song? Here's a fucking great list of my personal favourites which I would recommend to anyone:

Pink Floyd

1. Remember a Day
2. Flaming
3. The Show Must Go On
4. Take it Back
5. One Slip
6. Us and Them
7. Summer of 68'
8. Wish You Were Here
9. Dogs
10. Cirrus Minor

Rush

1. Bravado
2. 2112
3. Hemispheres
4. in the Mood
5. Different Strings
6. Xanadu
7. Scars
8. How It Is
9. The Fountain of Lamneth
10. Marathon

Yes

1. Where Will you Be?
2. Leave It
3. Starship Trooper
4. Turn of the Century
5. Homeworld

A Better Man - Brian Kennedy
Opel - Syd Barrett
I Could Not Ask For More - Edwin McCain
I Get Around - The Beach Boys
Victor - Alex Lifeson
Ode to my Family - The Cranberries
74', 75' - Connels
Electric Shock - Liquid Nerve

If any of you who actually read this have the likes of kazaa or imesh, then try searching for these songs if you're stumped for another tune to get. I love em' all.

Has it been over a week already since I last updated? Crikey, i'm shite I am. I must update more often, I really must. There really is no other good way to convey my ideas, opinions, thought, bollox, etc, in any other way at the moment so Blogger is always a good start I guess. However I did always used to write songs in an old maths and science books I once had... don't know where they are anymore. It'd be quite good to find them and see how shite/amazing those songs sound now cos I must have wrote them over a year ago.
Anywho, Not a lot happens in our world really does it? A hell-child is having her work experience where I work and I unfortunately knew her before she had even set foot in the door. My A2 level tests start tomorrow and I ain't done a lot of revision, tho I am a promoter of revising the day before for it sticks in your head most gracefully as opposed to the 2 months prior process. 2 months? Hell, there's a lad in our school there who's been revising for a whole 5 month before the tests?!?!? His head must be fucking swimming at the moment and yet I do feel sorry for him because he REALLY worries about these tests.
As for me, I don't. There's more to life than success, and that's enjoying life itself. If I was to fail these tests up to the point where I couldn't get into University in September then it'd be a hell of a drawback BUT it wouldn't be the end of my life as we know it so fuck society's expectancy of me and i'll do things my way. If I fail, then so be it. If other people have got a problem with that, they're the ones who's heads need sorting, not mine, because it should be ME who's worried, yet I always look at life in a very cynical manner...
Enough for today, i'm dribbling on.

It went right by me,
At the time it went over my head,
I was looking out the window,
I should have looked at your face instead.

I was out last night, and I missed a golden opportunity, and when I did, those lyrics above popped into my head more or less instantaneously. I'm guilty of missing out on a LOAD of opportunities. :) Right now, after waking up, i'm kinda shrugging it off, but last night I was pretty cheesed off ya know? A good friend of mine told me that next time something like that comes along, to make sure i'm in there AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. She talks a lot of sense in regard to my situation so I thank her very muchly. :D

A day of lyrics, if you don't mind...

"The whole wide world, an endless universe..." -Rush: Territories - We still haven't got much fucking further than Mars tho have we?

"Have you seen the charts, it's a hell of a start, it could be made into a monster, if we all pulled together as a team..." - Pink Floyd: Have a Cigar -I'll deffo second that. The charts are fucking shit these days. Does ANYONE even bother following them anymore?

"Children say, children say, we open our minds as one..." -Level 42: Children Say - The day I hear a child say that will be the day I grow toes on my tongue.

"I've found an island in your heart, country in your eye..." -The Doors: Break on Through to the Other Side - If anyone can tell me what that guy was smoking at that time, please give me a shout, i'm madly curious.

That's it for now. I dunno why I posted that shite, I just find some lyrics bizarre I guess.

I just had a curry pot noodle... now I dunno about finding a poodle in it, but it certainly smelt like one had took a shit in it.

How does one know when they've met the right person? Do they get that familiar feeling of being wanted, as if their sole purpose on this world is to be there for that ONE person? Is it when they see this person and to then see that person walk away is heart-wrenching? I too am unsure and am judging my views from my 7 month stint with my X-Girlfriend, and from my friends who too have had relationships.

For me, meeting my X was no lucky thing. We'd been working together in a shitty shop for about 2 months before we copped for eachother one eventful night. I had never liked her before and actually fancied another girl in our work. And yet I copped off for this other girl, and the next day we told eachother it was just fun and that we'd think no-more of it and yet I did. The next few weeks I wracked my brains trying to figure my position with this lady out. I also developed very strong feelings for her and not being with her most of the time made me very depressed. She on the other hand had stuck to her word and as far as I could see wasn't even flinching an eye-lid. It took one night when she copped off for a security guard to cement our status together because when I made her realise how big a twat this guy was, it was then that she took me in her arms and our 7 month stint started.

What scares me about all this is that i fell in love with her after kissing her, without having any feelings for her prior to this moment. I now see that as a very bad mistake. There's no way i should have developed such feelings for her just because of a kiss. Hell, i've kissed many girls since that and never have I had the same feelings. And yet I believed for seven months that she was THE girl. Unbelievably, it took a kiss off another girl, a friend of ingrategirl's, to make me realise just what a mistake it had been all that time ago. The next day i called my X to tell her i'd make a huge mistake and kissed someone behind her back. What did she do? Laugh. Laughed with me. It didn't make sense, and it still doesn't now, but it was at that moment I realised we may as well quit it. And we did, 2 weeks later.

The point of my recollection is an example of how the 'right' person, can end up being either the totally wrong person, or just a disillusioned moment from the past. I encountered that same feeling not long ago, and am slowly battling it away. i find it rather weak of me to have such a problem, but i do, and if anyone else out there does, give me a shout. : D

I just came from an excellent weekend at Blackpool, and was curious as to why we all act like ginks when we get on a thrill ride? Everytime I went on the Big One, I started screaming with delight, shouting my head off, telling other people who were scared that the ride was gonna crash, and yet I don't often act like this at any other times of my life. It's just a curiosity that befuddles me, especially when I still act like it on my third ride on the thing. I guess that was a rhetorical question, and a shite one at that, but I guess i'm just a rhetorical kinda person really. Oh and if anyone ever considers a night out at Blackpool, visit the Boomerang club!! I'll never forget dancing in that cage with my kecks around my ankles.... :P

Whoever said madness was sick? I find that with a touch of madness, a smile to boot, and a hearty slap on the back can do more for someone than a bunch of flowers which are just gonna die anyway or a box of chocolates of which only two chocolates in the box are actually worth eating. So whenever you see someone upset and you just KNOW they need cheering up, act a prat.

1. They enjoy spontaneity when their last few hours of sadness have dragged on slower than a Scandinavian Cartoon Season on Channel 4.

2. You become a higher draw in their friendship book.

3. It makes them feel good that they aren't the ones who look like a total wenzle-ding.

What's the point of this inane rambling? Cheer up. It'll help not only you, but anyone who needs that kind of visual excitement.

If anyone can tell me how to get this fucker at the bottom of the page, do tell me! :D For now, my counter is HERE... in the MIDDLE of the page... :D









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Someone just gave me the kick up the arse that I need to actually update this thing! It's been like nearly a month so i feel i oughta put fingers to keys again and come up with something again...

I just re-read my last update... it's quite funny to read the other side of me which is the 'pissed as a fart' side. Why does alcohol do that?... and why as a child does Coca-Cola and Wine Gums do that? Or in the mole's case, why does that happen as an adult? Anywho, i think i'll be ditching my 5 'o' clock blogs because it's quite simply a bit embarrassing really.

I was thinking today about dark humour. And thought about the old chestnut of the old lady who, while walking down a street during the winter will invariably slip up on a frosty piece of paving... and will you laugh? You ruddy betcha! :D

And a big shout out to someone who may just give my site the boost it needs... if you can this kaleidoscope of horrors a site. :P http://www.skippybird.blogspot.com/ too it's time out to actually mention my dire attempts. Skippy, I don't know you either, but you're too cool!!! :D

I have just come off a night out, and after kissing one of my best friends, i guess i'm just left to think... why? I certainly don't regret it that's for sure. I enjoyed it more for what happened if anything. Alright, I more or less made the first move, but it's not like I took it serious or anything. Put it this way, to whoever it was who received my affection, I don;t regret it, and I enjoyed every minute of it. If ever the opportunity arises again, I would certainly take it up again. I enjoyed it, didn't take it serious, and it made my night. Unfortunately, I feel she felt I may have beenb going too far, and decided to hold back. Fair dinkum to whatever she believes in, but i was genuinely disappointed whens she eventually began to hold back. I mean, as iof i'm one to say no to such a lovely lady as herself. But anywho, what's done is done, and i Have no regrets. It was a good night after all, and we'll see what happens from here. And a large ahoy hoy goes out to Andy, who finally saw real life. :D

Whoever said stories were shite? Has anyone here ever read 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff'? That's got violence, action, stunts, and typical prejudicial scenario's involved. The fact there's no sex is a bit of a letdown but who wants to see animals having sex under a bridge? At least make it under a table or something.

The point of my opening paragraph? You can take milk from chocolate but you can't take salt from ice cream. Still confused? Never mind then, I have a very creative yet warped mind and so I usually blabber tirades of verbal shitness. Such as what the hell is going on with my life right now? I come off what I THOUGHT was a good relationship, then find out the X has been up to all sorts in the week which followed, and yet i'm the one who looks the arse. What happened there? Did everyone forget to watch 'Frost' or something cos I certainly believe the wrong person has been sentenced to a bad term here. And yet off she goes dancing in the daffodils because she likes to ignore these accusations. Whoever said sexism had been fixed? i find more sexism nowadays against men than against ladies, and yet the women STILL complain that it's them getting the bad end of the deal. At least when they're pregnant they get to take weeks off to have the sprog and STILL get paid in the process.

And there's another thing. What's the male equivalent of pregnancy? I used to think it was a rock turd but then that doesn't provide a lot of pleasure bar the grand opening and the splash back. How about a really smelly fart which has been created after an infusion of curry and mushy peas? Me neither. I personally believe that the male pregnancy has got to have something to do with baldiness. Sure we don't do anything like sexual intercourse to start it, but it rarely happens to woemn does it? Unless of course your name is Ethel, play the Bingo all the time, and like to complain because our future is taking up your precious bus seats. Fuck off Ethel.

And busses too. i have a bus pass that supposedly lets me on any bus at any time on any day. What the fuck happened today when harold the driver decided to ask me to pay instead? Harold, I know you're doing your job, but frig off will ya and let a soft hardworking gobshite on for nothing will ya. I mean these services are shit as it is, waiting an hour for a bus to come then 21 come at the same time. And what's with this non-smoking policy? Everyone still fucking does it. I hate smokers because I have asthma and cough like a little urchin when I feel that poison enter my lungs. I'm gonna stick a bucket on a smokers head one day and see how much the bastards themselves like it. I'll no doubt be laughing like a Clown's pie getting tickled when that happens.

Still confused? Well, now for something completely different... boingzo.

Been a while since I updated and some sausage on toast has just tempted me to put my fingers back to the keys so here goes...

How do you decide what you're going to use in an update? A lot of people would take a look at the news surrounding them... in that case I should take a look at the national crisis which is David Beckham's foot. What in blue blazes is going on with this country? How the hell can a man's foot, regardless of how famous or not he is, become front page news? HE'S A SPORTS STAR for christ's sake!!! A man breaks his foot, and the country comes to a standstill. It seems to me the media is making this out to be bigger than the Queen which I find extraordinary. I mean personally, the Queen Mum's death was nothing to me, I couldn't have given a shit. But it's definitely bigger than some news about a man injuring himself.

What's even worse is when Tony Blair decided to bring it up in the house of commons... i'll repeat myself in another way; OUR GOVERNMENT IS CONCERNED ABOUT THIS FOOT. Seriously. If any yankees read this page, feel free to e-mail me about how shitty a country I live in. When a government puts everything aside for a footballer's foot, that's when you know some serious roconsiderations need to be... considered when the next election comes around. The tories themselves have gotta be pissing themselves.

Seriously though, how low a country have we become? It's no wonder everyone laughs at us when we don't join the Euro, we're horrified by a footballers broken foot, and for some reason some disabled girl called Kirsty is in the paper every week too because she's met another celebrity and is determined to rub it in the faces of every other disabled person out there.

If ya ask me, this country needs to be moved across to the US of A and stitched alongside New York state. Then we'll realise what news is important, especially after the terrible 8 months that that state has had to endure. Footballers broken foot? You telling me that's on the same front page where the September 11th tragedy was 8 months ago? ABSOLUTE BOLLOX.

Relationships are strange things. For millions of reasons. Far too many to recollect. They come as quickly as they go and yet we still burden ourselves with the responsibility of looking out for another human being week in and week out. That's all a relationship is. Think about it, you can't have a relationship and not see your partner in 3 months. That can no longer be known as a relationship. And while you see your other half most days each week, that is no doubt a relationship that's working.

Is that all a relationship is? Keeping up appearances? Sure you can kiss, shag, socialise with others as a couple, visit places together, but I get the impression that without viewing of eachother on a permanent basis, then that's a failure. It's hard to explain, but that's exactly how me and my girl ended up. Didn't see enough of eachother, so split. It's a shame, but it had to come to an end and i'm just glad we split on amicable terms. :)

I think I now have something against them. There's a lot of money to be spent on loved ones, that's just been proven once again with Valentines Day. There's also a lot of dedication involved, maybe too much for me now that i've just finished my first major relationship. Having to visit the other half as often as possible, having to please them when you're feeling shitty about certain things, trying to follow trends of thiers so as not to look like a lagger, it's too much I think.

I'm dribbling on. Quite simply, relationships are for people who believe they have the time and thought for others but themselves. Not my thing. I urge everyone to try it even if doubtful about the other person; get the first time over with, hate / enjoy it then go from there. I was average in mine. Started off great, then the truth started to hit me later on at the end stages. A shame really cos she was brilliant, but hey ho, the show must go on as a brilliant group once said. Enjoy life, consider relationships and enjoy life.