You know we've got a lot, we've got a lot of good times ahead of us... - Space

Here it is, the last blog update for 2004. It's been an interesting ride, and thinking back to the start of the year I can't even begin to remember what I must have typed up back then. What was my prob? What was happening back then? Was I happy? Sad? Maybe it's time I went back and re-read some of that shit, see if I can learn anything from it.

No end of year update. I considered it for a split second, and part of it was because i'm a lazy fat fuck, but mostly, I think I overdid it with last years effort. There was a lot of pent up anger and frustration from my split with Sarah which made me spew forth the bile which I did. I wouldn't change it for the world, but realistically, it seems a bit of an awkward read looking back now. So now end of year review. But I think I said it best in Wednesday's update when I said it'd been a great year overall. It had it's ups and downs, it sadness, happiness, humourous times, distressing times, put altogether, it left 2004 as a year i'll never forget. I could go on to thank tons of people, but i've got a party to attend tonight, and besides which, i'm sure those of you out there know who you are. :) Oh fuck it:

Blakely
Jenny Anne
Laura Sefton
Laura Southern
Jenny Moon
Michelle M'Kaissi
Leann Hay
Vicky Quinn
Phil Parry
Anneka Gray
Skippybird
Angelina Jolie ;)

And of course, my two wee brothers Lee and Alex. There are countless other peeps out there who left their mark on me (some quite literally), but as I said, time is alcohol.

By the way, any big fans of Space here? The Liverpool band who had such hits as 'The Female of the Species', 'Neighbourhood', 'Avenging Angels', and 'Suburban Rock 'n' Roll'? If so, I recommend you download their sadly never released album 'Love You More Than Football'. It was never released after their original record company Gut Records fucked them over with the usual legal wranglings, but you can download it at http://groups.msn.com/spacesecret You'll have to sign up, but after that, it's just a case of entering the 'Secret Space' and typing 'Football' as the password. The album's phenomenal, and it's a huge shame it never got the chance to be exposed to the public. I highly recommend the songs, 'Gravity', 'Nothing to Find Her', 'Everybody in the Madhouse', and my absolute fave Space song, 'Good Times'.

With that, I bid 2004 adieu... and usher in a hopefully prosperous and action-packed 2005. :) Thanks all for reading, keep at it, you might find I type up something interesting one day. ;)

PS: I have two new year's resolutions:

1. To lose some weight

And the only way I can do that...

2. Give up alcohol.

You heard it here first. Or at the party tonight cos' you probably haven't had the chance to read this yet. :P And no, i'm not kidding.

Think i needed a week away from this blog, otherwise it would have continued to be a depressing account of ambiguous shitty events. As the week has passed tho, things have become considerably better, as has my train of thought. I guess you need to go through silly things and events like these to further educate yourself about the ways and devices of this fucked up little world of ours. It's common sense really. But when it's happening to YOU, it always seems so much more difficult, and yet the week after when it's your friend in the shitty mire, you're so quick to be able to help them. It's weird how it works out like that, yet it usually just does. Some things can't be explained. I often try to, but fail. Miserably. :) Still, god loves a trier... (but he pisses himself at a failure)

Quick hello to Lady Laura who left a wonderful whimsical comment in my 'box' like Skippy, telling me to just relax and go with the flow. I appreciate it chick, and am annoyed with myself for not having seen you yet over Xmas. What the fuck's going on??

I was considering going into how great Xmas was, especially with the baby being home for it (he was in the hospital with a serious illness last xmas, you can imagine how that was for the family), but I won't. Let's just say Xmas was great, and could have been a lot worse, what with me making mountains out of mole-hills. I bet I didn't even say that right just then.

I haven't even considered doing an Auto2112 2004 round-up for New Years like I did last time. Not that this year's been uneventful, trust me, it has had it's extreme share of ups and downs, happy times, sad times, people disappearing, people appearing, and overall it's been a further testament to my event-filled life. 2004; you were odd.

When the shit hits the fan, stand right back. :D The aftermath can get messy.

I could be digging myself a very deep early grave with this blog, but I really don't give a shit anymore. I'm sick to death of trusting people only for them to shit on me. I've spoke about these kind of people in the past, and everytime I think i'm over someone being an ass to me, but then it all comes round to me again. Time after time. I dunno if it's a case of me not having learnt a lesson, because sometimes you just have to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Guess I fuck up with my judgements once too often. And I certainly won't say 'never again', because realistically, I can't avoid these scenario's. The one thing I CAN take away from them tho, is at least they make my life that little bit more interesting... think I need to watch 'Chasing Amy' again. :D

It's been... educational - Holden McNeil

I swear, sometimes I think i'm fucking jinxed - Mr. White

Depression settles in... life's not bad, but i'm pretty much fucking fed up with my surroundings. I've had enough of my job, I hate my homelife (tho it's been worse i'll admit), and University has become more of a chore than a learning experience. The worst part of it all is that it's my fault, and I have no-one but myself to blame. I should get another job, I should move away from home, and I should just quit Uni. But i don't. I submit myself to further boredom, discontent, and awkwardness, probably because i'm just a lazy fuck. It's not the best time to be getting down with Christmas coming this Friday, but what can I say, I just hit these points at inconvenient moments.

I certainly don't ask for sympathy, I hate that. Half the time you're wondering if the person really means it or if they're just saying it in a desperate hope to please you. Maybe I need space from certain things or something, I dunno really. Maybe I just need to get away from it all. All of it. Strike off another 'to do' on my wish list, so to speak. Gotta wait and see what happens, but who knows, maybe i'll strike lucky this time. Can't say what i'll be leaving behind tho. Ouch.

Glad to see the comments on the last update, and I hope some of you checked out the clips. You can never have enough dick.

Was a weird night at the KH last night, and it was also my first night out in 4 weeks. Which has got to be a record where i'm concerned. But yeah, it was one of those nights where things are going good anyways, but then something shit happens. And then later on you realise things could have been a WHOLE lot worse. But it was extremely nice to see one certain person in another light that i had never seen them in before. Some people simply make you smile because you enjoy the way they are. Feelings like that are pretty much unrivalled. And it's certainly welcoming to feel like that again. :)

Not a whole lot else has happened. I wanted to go in-depth about some recent events in my life, but sometimes you HAVE to keep your mouth shut about certain things. Either way, i'm good peeps. And hi to Jenny Anne! :) Great to hear from you again sweety, e-mail you when I have some free time later. x

Dick. Cheese.

...

I don't know where to begin. The last time I was wowed this much was when I heard 'Carousel' by Mr Bungle for the first time. Richard Cheese is a lounge singer; think jazz. Think of the crooners in those suave Hollywood clubs that serve cocktails with pink neon lights emanating from everywhere. That's the kinda locale Mr. Cheese is used to. Dick. Dick. Oh... Dick. He sings covers. Pretty much anything. White Stripes, Slayer, Britney Spears, Puddle of Mudd, Outkast, Linkin Park, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Weezer, Van Halen, Kelis, Coldplay, The Toyes, Radiohead, U2, Jet, Nena, Disturbed... I could go on. And takes these groups songs, and infuses his sexual jazz (I said JAZZ!!!) into the proceedings, thus leading to an unbelievably addictive cover tune. He's had 3 albums out, 2 of which I now own, and i've only known him for a week. That's a good indication of his influence over me already. Wanna hear him? Well, i'm having a little trouble uploading right now, but i've got samples from his official site www.iloverichardcheese.com here, so take a listen...

http://www.iloverichardcheese.com/media/vids/richardcheese-dotd.wmv

A clip from 'Dawn of the Dead' (the 2004 remake) in which they used Dick's 'Down With the Sickness' cover. Amazing.

http://www.iloverichardcheese.com/media/vids/richardcheese-foxandfriends.mov

Here's Dick crooning away on the streets of New York performing Sir Mix a Lot's 'Baby Got Back'. Sexy, and Bastard come to mind.

http://www.iloverichardcheese.com/media/aud/rclatm-cdsampler.mp3

That's from the album 'Lounge Against the Machine' which is the only one I haven't got yet. good medley of samples.

http://www.iloverichardcheese.com/media/aud/rct-chop-suey-HOOK.mp3

A short sample from the phenomenal 'Chop Suey' by System of a Down. Phenomenal by Dick, not SOAD. Merely great by SOAD.

That's enough I think. I didn't find Dick on my own, the lovely and exquisite too sexy for her own good Claire directed me in his direction. She has no idea just what effect that direction has had on me. :D I'm obsessed ma' girl!!! And i'm loving it... Dick has a new album out in Spring.

Oh, and Laura Southern can't hear his songs cos' her speakers were made by JML and need to be repaired by pixies in Switzerland. Poor girl.

Tis a sad day when one of your favourite bands officially split up. Still, it has been 5 years since Mr. Bungle last released a record, so I wasn't really expecting anything new in future. there's always that faintest glimmer of hope... no more.

http://aversion.com/news/news_article.cfm?news_id=3450

The Santa Dash filming last Sunday went very well. I really enjoyed myself, met Kenny Dalglish who was also pretty cool, and took in a great wealth of experience which will no doubt aid me in future. The producer for it took mine as well my 3 uni friend's numbers, so it's a matter of time see if he gets back in touch. Never know, could strike it lucky. :)

Has my blog become a little too autobiographical lately? Am I talking too much about ME, and not as much about out THERE? Hmmm... some people would argue that blogs are for talking about yourself, but i'd disagree. I prefer giving my usually pompous outspoken opinions on what's happening around me, not necessarily to me myself. Though some people would also disagree with that and say I can't shut up about myself sometimes... not that i've got much to be doo-lally about, but still, sometimes I can talk... and talk... and talk. Dunno why, maybe i'm just too bored to do anything else. Weird.

PS: Texas Hold Em' Rules. As in, it's amazing, I wasn't stating that there are rules for the game.

A few people seem intrigued by my 'filming' this weekend. For those not in the know, i'm lucky enough to be part of a film crew which will be shooting a 'Santa Dash' in the City Centre this Sunday morning. It's for one of Kenny Dalglish's charities, the Marina Dalglish Appeal, which is a part of The Echo's Sunrise Appeal. Anywho, i'll be working in a pair with a friend from University, and one of us will be shooting (probably him), and the other will be in constant contact with the producers and director through walkie talkies (probably me). The deal is, because we're shooting the race, naturally it will keep moving throughout the city centre. So instead of just shooting one scene until the race disappears into the distance, we have to keep on our toes letting the big wigs know when we've finished one shot, so we can go onto the next one.

I'm naturally excited about it, and see it as a possible foot in the door. The person who got me the job (Mike Clough of West Derby School fame) has also acquired me a kind of editing apprenticeship. Kind of. I don't know 100% exactly how that's going to work, but it's with Liverpool Academy Studio's, which is a very reputable company right now. Either way, things are really looking up for me right now, well, least it feels like they are anyway! :) Oh, and this short film will be on TV in the new year, so you'll get to see me credited on national TV! Exposure people! Maybe the birds will start flocking in now... (Crosses fingers, legs, and testicles in desperate hope)

;)