Whoever said stories were shite? Has anyone here ever read 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff'? That's got violence, action, stunts, and typical prejudicial scenario's involved. The fact there's no sex is a bit of a letdown but who wants to see animals having sex under a bridge? At least make it under a table or something.

The point of my opening paragraph? You can take milk from chocolate but you can't take salt from ice cream. Still confused? Never mind then, I have a very creative yet warped mind and so I usually blabber tirades of verbal shitness. Such as what the hell is going on with my life right now? I come off what I THOUGHT was a good relationship, then find out the X has been up to all sorts in the week which followed, and yet i'm the one who looks the arse. What happened there? Did everyone forget to watch 'Frost' or something cos I certainly believe the wrong person has been sentenced to a bad term here. And yet off she goes dancing in the daffodils because she likes to ignore these accusations. Whoever said sexism had been fixed? i find more sexism nowadays against men than against ladies, and yet the women STILL complain that it's them getting the bad end of the deal. At least when they're pregnant they get to take weeks off to have the sprog and STILL get paid in the process.

And there's another thing. What's the male equivalent of pregnancy? I used to think it was a rock turd but then that doesn't provide a lot of pleasure bar the grand opening and the splash back. How about a really smelly fart which has been created after an infusion of curry and mushy peas? Me neither. I personally believe that the male pregnancy has got to have something to do with baldiness. Sure we don't do anything like sexual intercourse to start it, but it rarely happens to woemn does it? Unless of course your name is Ethel, play the Bingo all the time, and like to complain because our future is taking up your precious bus seats. Fuck off Ethel.

And busses too. i have a bus pass that supposedly lets me on any bus at any time on any day. What the fuck happened today when harold the driver decided to ask me to pay instead? Harold, I know you're doing your job, but frig off will ya and let a soft hardworking gobshite on for nothing will ya. I mean these services are shit as it is, waiting an hour for a bus to come then 21 come at the same time. And what's with this non-smoking policy? Everyone still fucking does it. I hate smokers because I have asthma and cough like a little urchin when I feel that poison enter my lungs. I'm gonna stick a bucket on a smokers head one day and see how much the bastards themselves like it. I'll no doubt be laughing like a Clown's pie getting tickled when that happens.

Still confused? Well, now for something completely different... boingzo.