New post here folks, new folks.

I got to speak to Naomi for the first time in AGES tonight. She was the girl from London, if you lot don't remember. Anyways, it was just fantastic to hear from her again, she's looking as sexual as ever, and lads; she's still single! (Victory pose) But seriously, it was just really great to see her, and hope she shows up more often than she has been. She's a ray of light in my too often dark life...

I hope it pisses down all weekend at the Isle of Wight festival. Now THAT would be a fucking laugh. Still, everyone would probably end up proclaiming it as being something more than it is if they all end up getting muddy and shit. So long as the Stereo's and Jareth, I mean Bowie don't get wet, then i'm all for rain. But I won't be there you all say! I know, but I can have my own little evil wishes can't I? Don't YOU find tens of thousands of people getting soaked while dancing to music that half of them don't even know the lyrics to hilarious? Cos' I certainly do.

I was reading the nobel-prize winning Viz magazine today and stumbled across a fantastic letter in the 'Letterbocks' section of the mag, which went something along the lines of complaining about that fucking awful carly Simon tune where she sings, "You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you..." and the problem this reader has, is that Ms. Simon is putting the recipient of her song into a sickeningly horrific position. Think about it, if you're going to write a song about someone, then call them vain cos' they think it's about them, even tho it IS... don't you see the problem there? I'd never cottoned onto this little bitchy paradox, but after reading the Oscar nominated Viz magazine (nominated AND won in 1995 for Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material from Another Medium for Steven Spielberg's Forrest Gump) it just dawned on me that that particular song is extremely evil. Talk about putting the poor guy in a very awkward position. He's going to be vain whatever way he looks at the song. Ms. Simon, you are a cunt.

Not a whole lot else to say really. I've had my moans, and i've enjoyed them! :D I hope you've enjoyed reading them along with me, though you're probably scratching your head and wondering what the fuck i'm talking about. Don't worry, most people do! It's partly the reason for why i'm single.

Lady: Carl, you're so cute! (I REALLY do get this a lot :(
Me: Oh fuck off, i'm trying to get meself a drink here, go annoy someone else!

(Cute is the epitomy of desperation)

PS: I just read Thorougood Phil's last two entries. Hmmm. I dunno what the fuck's going through his mind, but whatever it is, i'll have 2 super-size portions please.