I was sat in the garden of my fellow chum Blakely's last night, at around 4:30am. The sky was that lovely shade of dark blue that you recognise as being the next day creeping round to wake up the population. It occured to me, or more came to me in some kind of far off vision, that I felt lonely. But not in a bad way. I just felt like, while I might not have anyone out there at the moment keeping their distant eye on me, watching every move I make for fear I might fall flat on my face at any given moment, it still didn't feel too bad to be like this. I love the idea that my friends care about me enough that they'd throw our friendship on the line for the sake of what they think of something that i'm doing, because they think i'm going to make a fool of me at the same time. But just sitting there, listening to the telly spewing some Michael Jackson program to Blakely sitting there with his eyes rolling around his head, I felt lonely and yet enlightened at the same time.

I felt it again before, when I looked out the patio door in my house, and again, the sky had that bluey colour to it when the sun's just set. I stood there for a few minutes just looking out, wondering what people were doing out there, people that i know. It felt good. And I really don't know why. I feel like i'm going through some kind of bizarre transitional period, maybe a bit of a personality change while it's at it too. Anywho, you may find i'm different in the future, maybe, maybe not. Just going to have to wait and see, but I definitely feel something coming over me. And it ain't Ron Jeremy's sticky love potion.

Apologies if you found this update bordering on the worrying, but what can I say, you fucking ask me to carry on with this bloody blog charade! :P