Sometimes you get peado's, sometimes you get schizo's, and sometimes if you're lucky, you get a blonde bombshell who's as thick as 60 short planks. Me? I got this guy...

poklee1: well well, look who we have here
poklee1: i mean, salutations my good friend
poklee1: and by good friend i mean complete stranger
auto2112MBE: Well, it's better than calling me a bastard I suppose.
poklee1: CONGRATULATIONS! you have left your AIM screen name in an unfortunately conspicuous spot. as such, i will distribute it to everyone i know. then, when im done, i will find new people, get to know them, and give it to them too.
poklee1: i mean, nice to meet you
auto2112MBE: I see. Hmmmm. Well, you're the one from LUE I suppose?
poklee1: who is that
poklee1: if i may hunbly ask
poklee1: humbly, pardon my mistype
poklee1: drat these mortal fingers, drat them!
auto2112MBE: Yeah, thought so. OK then, well, feel free to distribute my name around, anyone who IM's me will surely make for good content on my site.
poklee1: EXCELLENT! content is good, and disgruntled people is better
auto2112MBE: Depends on the disgruntling really.
poklee1: actually, it depends on the content. will it be satisfying to the eye?
poklee1: or the ear? perhaps this is audio content
auto2112MBE: Depends on the individual who's sorry enough to IM me I suppose.
poklee1: gotcha. unfortunately, im not sorry. im happy we were able to share this time together.
poklee1: however, i like you so much you can call me as sorry as you wish
auto2112MBE: It's always a pleasure to share my presence with someone who appreciates it.
poklee1: and by like, i mean "find you mildly amusing"
auto2112MBE: Thank you, least I know i'm not failing at everything in life.
poklee1: is it really a pleasure? there is no pleasure on the internet. just teases my friend. teases of potential pleasure
auto2112MBE: trust me, there's always pleasure in every inconceivable imagined place.
poklee1: actually, there's pleasure in every conceivable place
poklee1: if its inconceivable, how can you imagine it?
auto2112MBE: Our imagination allows us to conjure up any images, even the inconceived.
poklee1: and if you cant imagine it, you certainly arent going to derive any pleasure from it
poklee1: but if you can conjure it, it is not inconceived
poklee1: on the contrary, imaginary stuff is quite conceivable
poklee1: however, this is based on the premise that pleasure is easy to come by
auto2112MBE: It is only inconceived if it can't become reality, in your mind however, tis a truly different thing altogether.
poklee1: yes. i have placed many mental barriers in my mind that prevent me from thinking outside my construct of reality
poklee1: thus, i live a superficial life
poklee1: however, the fact that i know this makes it quite contrary to superficial, does it not?
auto2112MBE: We're going to continuously be going back and forth. it's pointless my fellow LUEser.
poklee1: alas, you are plainly correct
auto2112MBE: So, I posted in your kiss topic?
poklee1: oh, i havent made any topics on LUE for a long time
poklee1: a dry spell, i suppose
auto2112MBE: Where did you get my addy from then?
poklee1: someone else's kiss topic
poklee1: i am like a vulture--i just take what i can see
auto2112MBE: Ah I see now. And you felt the need to then IM me?
poklee1: absolutely! i felt it was imperative to speak with you
auto2112MBE: Why exactly?
poklee1: your screen name is so intriguing
auto2112MBE: Nothing intriguing about it. Inf act, it's positively bollocks.
poklee1: actually, it is so generic that i felt perhaps a better character lay hidden behind the name
poklee1: exactly
auto2112MBE: See? You really oughta see someone about this self-contradicting problem you have.
poklee1: oh, but how it makes me think!
poklee1: i love going in circles
auto2112MBE: Your brain hurts.
poklee1: not when you're used to it
poklee1: then it becomes a fun game, where you are your own enemy. it makes everyone else seem very friendly
auto2112MBE: And you a bastard?
poklee1: absolutely
poklee1: a dirty, dirty bastard
auto2112MBE: I see. Tis natural for some.
poklee1: natural indeed
poklee1: although knowing of your supposed "bastard" status is reassuring
poklee1: if someone insults me i know they're referring to the bastardly alter-ego that i also hate
auto2112MBE: You're American aren't you?
poklee1: essentially, my foes are my allies
poklee1: yes, i am
auto2112MBE: Thought so. it's pretty obvious.
poklee1: is it? have you considered the possiblility that i am lying to you, in the effort to deceive you?
poklee1: perhaps my entire story is a wealth of deception
auto2112MBE: trust me, anyone who posts on LUE isn't clever enough to hatch any devious dastardly schemes.
poklee1: well, ive circumvented that using a loophole of sorts
auto2112MBE: What would they be.
poklee1: you see, ive never posted on LUE. ive only read topics
auto2112MBE: Why would you do that?
poklee1: i am a very paranoid man
auto2112MBE: Why?
poklee1: i cannot fathom an answer
poklee1: i have an extreme case of amnesia
auto2112MBE: You almost sound like a bot at times. You could try giving up the whole alternative act for a while.
poklee1: thats the thing--this is how i converse with people
auto2112MBE: Even strangers.
poklee1: this is how i cope with my paranoia. i hide behind this supposed protected layer of a character
poklee1: yes, i treat everyone equally
poklee1: my family, my acquaintences
auto2112MBE: The fact you acknowledge that you hide tells me a lot.
poklee1: pray tell what it reveals to you
auto2112MBE: That you're just putting an act on. one that's not very worthy of interest, more annoyance instead.
poklee1: ive certainly captivated you long enough to keep our conversation going, have i not?
auto2112MBE: not really. it's 2:33am here, and all my friends are offline, so you'll have to do i guess.
poklee1: alas, the fact that you call it an act only serves to reinforce my behavior
poklee1: in that case, i am sincerely flattered by your attention
auto2112MBE: That's no problem, some need it more than others.
poklee1: well, you are one time zone away from my greek brethren
poklee1: from where do you hail?
auto2112MBE: Liverpool, England.
poklee1: my supposition is correct--i now see why you were able to discern my background
auto2112MBE: Why exactly?
poklee1: its a trifle difficult to explain--allot me a few moments to set my thoughts straight
auto2112MBE: Have a ball.
poklee1: a ball i shall have, then. just a moment
poklee1: oh, what a long and satisfying piss that was
auto2112MBE: Always is.
poklee1: as i was about to say
poklee1: actually, i have no basis for the statement i said earlier. i was making crude conversation
poklee1: disregard it entirely
auto2112MBE: You don't even puzzle me... anyways, I must dash sonny jim.
poklee1: although, if pressed, im sure i would be able to conjure a suitable thesis and argument concerning this topic
poklee1: im glad i am succinct and clear in my speech then
auto2112MBE: Yeah, that and a roast dinner. See ya again Porkie.
poklee1: my lack of cultural understanding (or so i attribute it) begs the question: what is dashing sonny jim?
auto2112MBE: You'll find out when you're older. See ya again...
poklee1: farewell
poklee1: and if you wish to know, my true age is 58
poklee1: is it really an age thing or have i not encountered this saying before