I'm sitting here with one fuck of a voice at the moment. A lot of screaming and shouting at the KH (which you'll know is common if you've ever worked with me or been the KH with me), so i've got a very croaky 'man voice' ( ;) ), but I must admit that it does sound kinda cool when I sing. Not that i'm a good singer... in fact, I probably sound better now than when my voice is 100%!!! It's a funny world...

Which leads me onto saying, how the hell did it take 6 months for me looking round Liverpool and still not find a lady, and yet I went to London for one night, and found an absolute dream girl; only to accept that it could never happen with such a huge distance between where we both live (Something like 150 - 200 miles). Why does that happen? 6 months in my hometown, nothing, 1 night in another city, success. It kinda makes sense in that people in Liverpool are subjected to me a hell of a lot more than Naomi is, therefore they've ironed out their perceptions of me over a longer period of time, found the things about me that they hate and like, and it always inevitably leads to the whole, "I just think we're too good as friends." If that's the way people want to think, tis up to them, but i'm someone who's been brought up learning that taking a risk whenever something I chance upon takes my fancy might lead to bad or good, but at the end of the day, i'll still have learnt from the outcome. I think that's why I don't have anything for me in Liverpool. There's not a whole lot of people willing to shed friendship for a chance at POSSIBLE happiness. After all, I can't promise a relationship with me can work (Two ladies out there have already found that it doesn't), and the more sensible out there can see that anyway, because it's pretty simple logic. So on going to London, i get with Naomi after meeting her for the first time... the girl bearly knows me for who I am in person, but has spoken to me for 6 months. Therein lies the explanation. She's got to know me without being subjected to my little niggling traits, and realistically, she hasn't fully met me in my 100% genuine state; being in London, I can't profess to being truly myself. I'd have to be around my usual surroundings, with my usual friends, doing my usual thing. But I tried my best, and if my best was good enough for her, at least I know i'm doing SOMETHING right, and i'm not just a total failure at being 'attractive' in the general sense of the word.

Sorry if this blog seemed kinda analytical, and maybe even dull at times. What can I say? I'm a very critical person. I'm sure some people will read this and pick up on at least one facet of my little rant, but i'm only human, and have opinions on everything like you do. And if you don't like the way i write, you see that big fat X at the top right of this window...