Another update for Sunday, this one dedicated to Sutty, who i haven't spoken to or seen in months, but had the lucky chance to converse with him before on MSN. He's a good lad, who i hope has a great future with his girl and who I hope gets what he wants out of uni and life in Leeds. Kudos to him.
My mood is like a roller-coaster at the moment. Good one sec, then shit the next hour. The sounds of Aimee Mann, Yes, and Level 42 are keeping me sane at the moment as was my good friend Ally who always seems to be there for me in my months of need. :) You're a great girl Ally, and I am proud to have you as my friend. As I am of all those other rascals out there keeping me at ease. I'm a strong character and the way I am at the moment is so against that. I have got to get through this but at the same time I don't want to. Although this feeling is horrible, it's also kind of great at the same time. If you don't understand me, just forget it, but there's something about not being able to have what you want / had that's kind of invigorating. Sure i'm low, but how often does anyone feel like i do at the moment? Not often, and for some reason I don't mind feeling like this. I don't know, guess i'm getting kinda weird now.
As i'm sure you've guessed, i'm updating a bit more frequently now. it'll probably be like this for quite a while now.
Aimee Mann - Wise Up
It's not going to stop, till you wise up...
Level 42 - It's Over
As I walk into the lonely afternoon,
I feel sad enough, I feel bad enough,
And all the times when you are lonely where you are,
Please don't hate me then,
I just could not pretend, oh no...
3.8.03
What a night. Went the Krazy House with our Lee, Blakely, Pete Abe and Pillow turned up unexpectedly. This update is dedicated to Pillow, who told me he STILL reads my blog and has done since day 1. Ya gotta love that kinda dedication!
Was a tough night. I knew I wasn't going to enjoy it anywhere as much as I might usually, but I still got a few laughs out of it. Blakely disappeared at the end of the night, which confused me and our Lee as to where he'd fucked off to, but we all know what ale does to the average teenager. :) Sarah called me while me and our Lee were in the taxi on our way home at about 2:45am. To say I was happy would be a huge under-statement. It gave me quite the lift to hear her voice at that time. Tho it was unfortunate as well because my mind was half on our Lee who was close to blowing his guts up in a victorious fashion. Still, i managed to get a few words in with her before she had to leave to go to bed.
A few shout outs to the likes of Becci, Jenny-Anne, Blakely, and Pete (Pete's the guy on the left of the main picture of Blakely's site). They all at one time or another asked me how I was and I needed that last night. It felt good to know that after all this time not seeing them they still had the time there to ask me how I was. I especially thank Pete for hugging me and telling me I was always welcome into his world. :) He's a sexy bastard.
Apart from that, a pretty uneventful night. Hardly anyone I knew was there which is always a shame but ya can't expect everyone out I suppose but they are the best nights, when every corner you turn happens to bring another recognisable individual from your past, always willing to say hello and ask how you are. Or if they can have a free drink. In which case I tell them to, in the utterly wonderful words of Mr. C. Brown, "FUCK OFF!!!"
Was a tough night. I knew I wasn't going to enjoy it anywhere as much as I might usually, but I still got a few laughs out of it. Blakely disappeared at the end of the night, which confused me and our Lee as to where he'd fucked off to, but we all know what ale does to the average teenager. :) Sarah called me while me and our Lee were in the taxi on our way home at about 2:45am. To say I was happy would be a huge under-statement. It gave me quite the lift to hear her voice at that time. Tho it was unfortunate as well because my mind was half on our Lee who was close to blowing his guts up in a victorious fashion. Still, i managed to get a few words in with her before she had to leave to go to bed.
A few shout outs to the likes of Becci, Jenny-Anne, Blakely, and Pete (Pete's the guy on the left of the main picture of Blakely's site). They all at one time or another asked me how I was and I needed that last night. It felt good to know that after all this time not seeing them they still had the time there to ask me how I was. I especially thank Pete for hugging me and telling me I was always welcome into his world. :) He's a sexy bastard.
Apart from that, a pretty uneventful night. Hardly anyone I knew was there which is always a shame but ya can't expect everyone out I suppose but they are the best nights, when every corner you turn happens to bring another recognisable individual from your past, always willing to say hello and ask how you are. Or if they can have a free drink. In which case I tell them to, in the utterly wonderful words of Mr. C. Brown, "FUCK OFF!!!"
2.8.03
Sarah came to her decision and we've split up. I didn't want it to happen but i can't exactly demand she stay with me so I have to respect her decision. And I do. With all the respect in the world. And we at least split up on good terms so i'll still see her a lot. We are best friends after all. :) I do however feel i've lost a huge part of my life in our splitting up, but these things happen and I just have to accept it and move on with my life. I can't dwell on something like this for the rest of my life, but i'm definitely going to remember the time we spent together for the rest of it. I'm going to remember the night we got together for day 1 of our time together after seeing the hilarious 'Just Married' in the cinema. I'm going to remember falling flat on my face in Croxteth Park only to look up and see her nearly choking from laughter at my misfortune. And I certainly won't forget the nights we went out together and how beautiful she looked. I'll never forget these times, as well as the time we spent during the whole 116 days that we were together. I'm never going to forget her being the perfect girl for me, and how it's going to be impossible to find anyone better. But then I suppose I don't want to, I guess I like the idea that she was the most amazing woman to have ever been born.
Aside from that, I just want to tell you that i'm fine. I'm good, had my two bad teeth out and my mouth's feeling a 100% better (go dentist!) and so i'm feeling pretty chuffed with myself at the moment. Still no job, but life's been shitter (just about), so I can't complain too much. I head off to London on Tuesday with my babycakes, for a 4 day stint. Should be classic fun, and i'm really looking forward to it. Then after that, there's not a whole lot till University rolls around, and strangely enough I can't wit to start again. Going to be good I think.
on that, I bid ye adieu, and wish us all a prosperous golden future.
If I fell in love with you,
Would you promise to be true,
And help me understand,
Because i've been in love before
And I know that love was more,
Than just, holding hands...em>
The Beatles - If I Fell
I never wanted anything in my life,
Not until I met you,
I thought you'd see me through,
All the bad days that I had before I met you...
Aside from that, I just want to tell you that i'm fine. I'm good, had my two bad teeth out and my mouth's feeling a 100% better (go dentist!) and so i'm feeling pretty chuffed with myself at the moment. Still no job, but life's been shitter (just about), so I can't complain too much. I head off to London on Tuesday with my babycakes, for a 4 day stint. Should be classic fun, and i'm really looking forward to it. Then after that, there's not a whole lot till University rolls around, and strangely enough I can't wit to start again. Going to be good I think.
on that, I bid ye adieu, and wish us all a prosperous golden future.
If I fell in love with you,
Would you promise to be true,
And help me understand,
Because i've been in love before
And I know that love was more,
Than just, holding hands...em>
The Beatles - If I Fell
I never wanted anything in my life,
Not until I met you,
I thought you'd see me through,
All the bad days that I had before I met you...
27.7.03
Life's tough. It really is. This week's probably been one of the worst ever. For self-esteem, it's been no help that's for sure.
Sarah stayed over last night after telling me she needed to see me. We had a huge talk, and a few things were unveiled for the first time, and they helped me understand why we're in our current predicament. She went home today and we've decided to let her have time. To decide if she really does want to split up or not. I've done everything I can to convince her that we need to be together so the ball's in her court now. I don't hate her, not at all. I truly love the girl and will forever more. I'll be guttered if we split up but if that's what she wants, I have to respect her decision. I'll still be her best friend, but it won't be the same, nor will it be exactly what I want. I hope things go my way, but i've learnt over the last few years that 'luck' and me NEVER go together.
I remember telling Natasha in Spencers last month that things were so good for me at that time that there would no doubt be a shitty period coming up for me. I give you that shitty period. Adieu.
Sarah stayed over last night after telling me she needed to see me. We had a huge talk, and a few things were unveiled for the first time, and they helped me understand why we're in our current predicament. She went home today and we've decided to let her have time. To decide if she really does want to split up or not. I've done everything I can to convince her that we need to be together so the ball's in her court now. I don't hate her, not at all. I truly love the girl and will forever more. I'll be guttered if we split up but if that's what she wants, I have to respect her decision. I'll still be her best friend, but it won't be the same, nor will it be exactly what I want. I hope things go my way, but i've learnt over the last few years that 'luck' and me NEVER go together.
I remember telling Natasha in Spencers last month that things were so good for me at that time that there would no doubt be a shitty period coming up for me. I give you that shitty period. Adieu.
26.7.03
I'm at my lowest. I don't know what to say or do, but i'm low. Sarah and I could be over. She might not like me saying it on my blog but I feel I have to. it's no fault of either person's side, just certain things have come up and she thinks we need to split up, for her sake. I'll do anything for her, but this I just can't. I'm not going to lose her no matter what. She's told me she needs this but I can't let it happen. She means to much to me for me to have to accept this so easily. Where's the people I need to talk to when I need them... Watch this space, i'm not giving up.
25.7.03
I'm fed up. Me and Sarah are good at the mo but i'm still not 100% healthy. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but seeing as I haven't had a clean bill of health since early February, it's became quite the bore. I'm sheer fed up. Spencer's closed earlier than expected, on the Wednesday just gone, so i'm going to have less money in my next pay check. I've got bad stomach cramps and a constant tooth ache. Yes, I STILL have THAT tooth ache from a couple of months ago!!!
Moaning aside, I would like you all to visit the amazing and totally unreal http://www.archive.org/. This is a site where you can type in any web-site address, and then it will give you a list of dates, possibly up to as many as 10 years old. All these dates relate to dates of that same address, on that very day. So for example, you could view the World Wrestling Entertainment's web-site back when it was WWF in 1997 if you just do a search for it and click one of the earliest dates. It's a phenomenal site which will have you clamouring to look for all your fave sites in the past.
Moaning aside, I would like you all to visit the amazing and totally unreal http://www.archive.org/. This is a site where you can type in any web-site address, and then it will give you a list of dates, possibly up to as many as 10 years old. All these dates relate to dates of that same address, on that very day. So for example, you could view the World Wrestling Entertainment's web-site back when it was WWF in 1997 if you just do a search for it and click one of the earliest dates. It's a phenomenal site which will have you clamouring to look for all your fave sites in the past.
22.7.03
I totally forgot I had this. And I don't think i've posted this on here yet so here goes. Remember my two lovely e-mails from the two guys threatening to kill me because of my Perfect Dark review? Here's the latest in these insane ramblings. I eagerly await the first sensible criticism of my review:
>From: "robert smith"
>To: auto2112@hotmail.com
>Subject: perfect dark
>Date: Wed, 18 Jun 2003 22:10:44 +1000
>
SOON ALL NON BELEIVERS SHALL DIE!!(useless rambling)
look buddy i dont care if u on a pentium4 3ghz computer YOU CAN NOT INSULT
PERFECT DARK LIKE THAT ok go back intime the n64 was 3 years old when perfect dark came out at the time of its birth the n64 was more powerful then any computer available then. perfect dark has powerful graphics a VERY involving atmosphere and multiplayer options that could impress a quake 3 or unreal tournament impressed.
if i shall gather all if i ever find out who you are and see you on the streets i shall break your face rip off your legs and piss on ur carcass.
>From: "robert smith"
>To: auto2112@hotmail.com
>Subject: perfect dark
>Date: Wed, 18 Jun 2003 22:10:44 +1000
>
SOON ALL NON BELEIVERS SHALL DIE!!(useless rambling)
look buddy i dont care if u on a pentium4 3ghz computer YOU CAN NOT INSULT
PERFECT DARK LIKE THAT ok go back intime the n64 was 3 years old when perfect dark came out at the time of its birth the n64 was more powerful then any computer available then. perfect dark has powerful graphics a VERY involving atmosphere and multiplayer options that could impress a quake 3 or unreal tournament impressed.
if i shall gather all if i ever find out who you are and see you on the streets i shall break your face rip off your legs and piss on ur carcass.
16.7.03
14.7.03
Two weeks since my last update? What goes there? I must admit i've been quite dead on my feet lately, and am doing quite a lot of hours for Spencers what with the countdown to judgement day passing me by like Jews into an auction for wishing wells. For all of you who still actually give a shit about that money grabbing shop, Spencer Gifts is open until a week this coming Saturday. Only 11 full shopping days left till it blows up in my face. And good riddance too.
I actually plucked the courage to go visit Pound-Stretcher today after nearly a year since I left with no return. it was weird. I was glad to see they banned shelves being more than head height. That used to be a real pleasure for the customers looking to get any ol' claim coming their way with a handy suitcase on the head. There's only 3 people left there now who I used to work with, and 2 of them are leaving within the next month. good luck to them, about time they got their arses out of poundy for good.
Aside from that, apologies for the lack of updates. i promise to get back to my best form, as you all know and love me. It's just the way i am at the moment...
I actually plucked the courage to go visit Pound-Stretcher today after nearly a year since I left with no return. it was weird. I was glad to see they banned shelves being more than head height. That used to be a real pleasure for the customers looking to get any ol' claim coming their way with a handy suitcase on the head. There's only 3 people left there now who I used to work with, and 2 of them are leaving within the next month. good luck to them, about time they got their arses out of poundy for good.
Aside from that, apologies for the lack of updates. i promise to get back to my best form, as you all know and love me. It's just the way i am at the moment...
1.7.03
More than a week since my last update. How intriguing! And STILL people read my blog! The hits i'm receiving is amazing, for my blog that is. The likes of Microsoft would piss themselves laughing hearing me brag about my hits. But nevertheless, I have an audience who I need to cater for and by jove I shall do it.
I'm skint. Yes, I am actually skint. Not often i'm skint. But I am. Skint. Dunno why, but ebay has a part to play in this I suspect. It ain't my fault it has so much amazing stuff on it tho is it??? :) So yeah, definitely a month of no nights out for me, but Sarah's in the same boat so I guess we can suffer together. She's staying in ours tonight and we're gonna watch Harry Potter and the Philosopher's dildo. I haven't seen it in so long and she just had it bought for her so why not? Should be good.
i could post new web-sites i've been looking at, or things i'm intrigued in but i'm not. Instead, i'm going to demand of you to vote Gos out of Big Brother this week. I don't know the phone number but text a vote by texting:
Vote gos
to 85444. He may seem cheerful and happy, but he's a real killjoy when it comes to the parties and games. Remember when they were all licking eachother's bodies when the Tickle was still in there? Gos told them they oughta calm down cos they were going too far. fat bastard. Vote Chef out and make the BB house a more interesting environment to live in... what was that, you don't watch Big Bro??? :)
I'm skint. Yes, I am actually skint. Not often i'm skint. But I am. Skint. Dunno why, but ebay has a part to play in this I suspect. It ain't my fault it has so much amazing stuff on it tho is it??? :) So yeah, definitely a month of no nights out for me, but Sarah's in the same boat so I guess we can suffer together. She's staying in ours tonight and we're gonna watch Harry Potter and the Philosopher's dildo. I haven't seen it in so long and she just had it bought for her so why not? Should be good.
i could post new web-sites i've been looking at, or things i'm intrigued in but i'm not. Instead, i'm going to demand of you to vote Gos out of Big Brother this week. I don't know the phone number but text a vote by texting:
Vote gos
to 85444. He may seem cheerful and happy, but he's a real killjoy when it comes to the parties and games. Remember when they were all licking eachother's bodies when the Tickle was still in there? Gos told them they oughta calm down cos they were going too far. fat bastard. Vote Chef out and make the BB house a more interesting environment to live in... what was that, you don't watch Big Bro??? :)