I shouldn't be posting at 5am but what can I say? I'm an odd person like that.

Me and Leann who I work with had a discussion a short while ago in our place of employment about how I was a people watcher. It's like a habit, if I see someone who thinks they're in their own little world with no-one to bother them, I just find them fascinating enough to just want to keep watching. Maybe it's because it's most likely that what i'm witnessing is that person at their most honest. That's when you see them as they really are. They're not trying to impress anyone, nor are they acknowledging, greeting, conversing with, angering, anyone in particular. They're just there in a moment of individualness. There's not many opportunities for it, and it's also made a million times better when the person you're watching is someone you know. What are they thinking? ARE they thinking? The fact of the matter is, a motionless person staring into nothingness is addictive shit to watch. You ever wonder why those scenes in films where an actor stares in the camera motionless are unique-feeling, or why you feel uncomfortable because it almost seems like he / she / it is looking right at you? I'd never urge people to go round looking for unsuspecting passer-by's, or friends they want to lose through their weirdness, but just watch next time a friend is having a moment. And just look at them. You might see something that you never noticed before. (Refrained from using Beauty & The Beast reference in that last sentence.) And when you do... :)

An odd blog i'll wager, but it's original at least from all the oblique and ambiguous ones i've been dishing out lately. Talking of odd, I e-mailed my ex, Sarah, the other day. I was lying in bed at the time, feeling a little sick after remembering a past dream (I get nauseous when I remember dreams, weird I know) and something told me I should add her back to my MSN Messenger list, and e-mail her. I didn't know what to say really, but just to e-mail her with anything. Maybe just a mere acknowledgement that I actually knew she was still alive, and dare I say it, actually care that she's still alive. But I did do it, for whatever reason. No reply. :) I expected as much, but hey ho, it made me feel good at the time even if it may have been pointless.

Finally, can't wait to see my ol' friend Kate on Saturday again, who coincidental as it may seem, actually introduced me to Sarah. Kate's been in Sicily for the past month, and despite what she thinks, she means a lot to me and i've missed her loads. The problem with me is that most of my friends take their friendships for granted so don't take much notice of people around them who genuinely respect and care for them. I don't blame Kate for that, I know she appreciates it really, I just think the environment that she and I have been brought up in, socially speaking, has been an almost caged one, with not a lot of scope to really show what you really think. Open your mouth round my lot and you're liable to feel a knife in your back. Always been that way, likely alway will be too.